Rust faux fur bomber | THE MOST FLATTERING LEGGINGS | Lace up Shearling boots | sunnies | Nolan’s boots | Nolan’s coat
Striped turtleneck | my fave black jeans| white booties | faux fur jacket: Tibi (old)
If you’ve been following me for awhile, and read my previous motherhood posts, you know that I was never a person who dreamed of becoming a mother. When we played house when I was a kid, I usually was more interested in creating the stories surrounding what we would be DOING with our baby dolls rather than actually taking care of or holding them (would we be turning the couch into an airplane to go on a trip? Or what was the best way to create a restaurant in the basement in order to serve our stuffed animals plastic play food?). So when we had Nolan, ALMOST TWO YEARS AGO, I was nervous to see if I had ANY maternal instinct at all— I’m a full time teacher after all, but I teacher older kids— and I never was one to want to hold babies or play with them or whatever it was that you DID do with them! Luckily, (or maybe naturally) it turns out that I do like being a mom— the instinct or whatever we want to call it, did kick in… and transition to motherhood really has not been all that difficult.
Because we struck baby gold.
Now, before I continue, let me preface this by saying that I already feel guilty saying that— Nolan is and always has been SUCH AN EASY BABY— little of which we can really take credit for… yes, Tim and I are easygoing people for the most part, and decided early on that Nolan would have to fit into OUR lives, not the other way around (hey, we were here first, right?!)… but I definitely think that he really was just born with a chill personality. He slept through the night at about 2-3 months old, and still sleeps straight from 8am -8pm. I think I’ve heard him cry a total of 5 times over the past 20 months. He’s independent, plays by himself and doesn’t whine. He eats pretty well, and cleans up after himself. I swear guys, I’m not bragging… it’s just the way he is.
Which brings me to the point of this post.
Inevitably, after your baby turns one, people want to know when you’re having “number two” (the middle schooler in me who never grew up is laughing REALLY hard at “number two”!!!). And the first thing that pops into my mind is that saying “One is like none and two is like ten” (or something like that)… life is SO good right now; or little trio is so easy to manage (but don’t get me wrong, it’s not like every single moment is perfect lol… Nolan of course has his moments!), we love to randomly pick up and go on impromptu adventures… and I’m TERRIFIED that a second baby will change that.
What if “second baby” is nothing like Nolan… what if he or she is colicky or demanding or cries all the time or doesn’t sleep or has (god forbid) health issues?! Please don’t mistake this last sentence for me seeming bratty or spoiled — I am well aware that many couples struggle with way worse concerns like infertility or have children with real, actual health challenges, and OF COURSE I know how lucky I am to have gotten pregnant and had a healthy child to begin with… but isn’t it natural for all of us to have these worries? I didn’t seem to have these same apprehensions before having Nolan because I had literally no clue what to expect… now that I know how good it can be I’m so afraid that it will never be as good as this… As they say, lightning never strikes twice in the same place, right?
As I write this, the logical part of my brain is already trying to reason with my emotional side— it’s telling me how I’ll adapt no matter what, how I’ll love “second baby” just as much, how he or she will be special in their own way, how we’ll figure out how a family of four will work the same way we figured out how to make it work with one baby. Moms of many, you’re prob rolling your eyes at this post, but maybe, a teeny part of you remembers having these same fears before you had “number two”?
So that’s where I am when it comes to having another baby. I know it will all be ok, as pretty much everything if life always is. Please comment and let me know what you think— who feels the same way? Any words of advice? Let me know!
So I have major neck problens right now that is affecting pretty much every aspect of my life physically, emotionally, mentally. I need to get neck surgery before even thinking of trying for number 2. Sam is the opposite of nolan. He’s extremely active ,has a hard time going to sleep amongst other things. But he is hilarious ,smart, extremely strong willed so hoping these are great qualities for when he’s older. I love him so much ,but I am exhausted everyday and yell more then I’d like to admit. The short of this is People will always have comments. You need to do what’s best for you and your family. I’d love to have another, but right now I need to take care of my health because you can’t pour from an empty cup. If we had a second and another boy, then people would ask if we are trying for a girl. As if we have control over the sex! You do you!! I am envious you have such a laid back baby/toddler.
Awww thanks so much for taking the time to write! You’re an AMAZING mom— I love the saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup”— hope your surgery goes well! Xoxo
My oldest is 10 and my little one is 18mon. So I heard it for 9 yrs when I’m having num 2(hahaha) but now it’s all when is num 3 coming? You’re so right all these feelings are valid and what I also think of in regards to #3 (if ever)
Jess! Thanks so much for writing! Xoxo
I love this post and everything about you! Authentic, honest, humble and hilarious!
Baby Nolan is a dream and I am sure the Comer crew expansion (if and when) will only bring forth everything you and Tim were designed to handle!
So much love, Jo
I totally remember being where you are after I had my daughter and found out baby number 2 was on the way she just turned five and my son is 3 and half, I remember being overwhelmed by the thought of two under two, but my son is a dream child. Although we did go through some difficult periods when he was born at 33 weeks, by the grace of God he made it an he has asthma that is completely manageable. There are things in life we just don’t control. I think what it comes down to is praying and hoping for the best and making sure you make a decision that’s right for your nucleus, definitely don’t have more kids if you don’t want anymore but if you it’s so rewarding to see siblings play hope that was helpful
Thanks so much for sharing! I love hearing different perspectives! Xo
I have already told you how I feel about this. I told you while you were pregnant with Nolan that once you have the baby it won’t matter if it is a boy or a girl because we know how you wanted a girl. Look at you with Nolan!!! EXACTLY!!! INSEPERABLE!!! Now baby number two might be different and that’s ok. Like I’ve said, when we get older, no matter how many first cousins he will have, it is still different if something happens to you and Tim. He will deal with it solo. As parents we often do things not for us but the benefit of our kids. As an “only” child, I can say and others have admitted as well that it is cool when you’re younger but getting older, you wish that you had that sibling that knows exactly what you are going through. Ok done! Lol