I got the idea for this post when a fellow mom asked how we (meaning Tim, Nolan, and I) always had the energy and time to do fun things. “Isn’t it just overwhelming?”, she asked. This got me thinking- I guess we DO do a lot of “fun things”- but I didn’t necessarily see our adventures as something out of the ordinary- we’ve always kind of been “get up and go” people— we love seeing new things, trying new restaurants, staying in new places and hotels— I guess it turns out that “having fun” is sort of my hobby!
Remember when we were kids, and having fun was easy because, well you were a kid and it was pretty much your only job, other than to go to school. Even throughout high school and college, it’s still pretty easy to have fun, go on adventures, travel, eat out, explore etc.
Then BAM, you get a big girl (or guy) job, have to pay rent/ a mortgage, maybe have a kid ( or two or three or whatever!) and now you’re just tired AF and it’s just so much easier to stay home. “Having fun” sometimes feels like another line on the old “adulting” to-do list.
Which I get. Believe me, it may seem like we are always on the go on social media, but we LOVE a good Netflix session as much as the next person. Of course there are (plenty) of days where we never get “dressed” and hibernate at home too. But then I get this itchy feeling like I need to go somewhere, do something, see something new- and especially since having Nolan, I want the same for him.
To get right to the heart of this, I think what I’m trying to say is that while it’s not always easy to get out of the house, take a toddler somewhere not necessarily toddler friendly, and kind of just “wing” an adventure, ITS ALWAYS WORTH IT. Never once have we gotten on a plane or train, traveled to a new city, taken Nolan to an event, restaurant or activity and said “gee I really wish we had stayed home.” The adventures are not always perfect, in fact, far from it. This past mini- getaway, out to the Hamptons for apples and pumpkins, def wasn’t- we couldn’t control the fact that Nolan wouldn’t nap in the car, that it rained all morning, and that oops, he may have (definitely) rolled off the hotel bed in the middle of the night (ok maybe we could have helped that but hey, didn’t we ALL roll off the bed at some point as kids?!) But the fact that we knew we couldn’t control all of these factors was not a deterrent for us from going. We just pushed through his nap time and put him to bed early, went out to lunch in Southampton (Sant Ambrose!) while waiting for the rain to end, and well, just moved Nolan right in between us in the hotel bed after he fell off (lol).
On the way back home, we stopped at our fave vineyard, Wölffer Estate, which I would not categorize as “toddler friendly”. I mean, they were def super nice, and no one looked at us like we were crazy or anything— but it’s not a place with like TVs with Disney channel on, or toys to play with, or even a dedicated place to play. But we wanted to go (don’t even get me started on people who would claim this is “selfish” and how “when you’re a parent, it’s not about YOU anymore” bc screw that, each member of our little fam is important! And last time I checked, Nolan isn’t the one paying the mortgage amiright?!) SO WE DID. And it was fun- really fun. We brought his sticker books and cars and he just read and stickered and played and ate crackers at our table while we wined and cheesed- I swear, he’s learned that some places are for mommy and daddy and that’s ok.
My point is, when I think about why some moms/parents hesitate to travel with/ adventure with their babies/ kids it’s because we then have to let go of even more control- the unknown, even if it’s just “will he pick up garbage on the subway and eat it” (maybe) or “will she freak out on the plane” (definitely) or “what if he doesn’t like any of the food served at the restaurant” (almost certainly) – can be really damn annoying to deal with, and down right anxiety inducing for us (especially moms, I think). What will other people think if my kid misbehaves? What if it ends up being a disaster- we might as well just not go- it’ll be easier. The thing is, “easier” usually doesn’t lead to “having fun”. And I’ve found that people are really understanding of babies and toddlers- if they freak out a little, it’s not a reflection of you (not always, at least lol)— and people, most of whom are parents themselves, totally get it. The more adventures we go on, the better Nolan gets at going with the flow— it’s really the only way he knows- on weekend mornings, he’ll ask “where we gonna go to?!” – he knows that most days bring adventure. Also, our on the go lifestyle makes the three of us, Nolan included, appreciate and value the Netflix (or in his case, Moana!) marathons even more satisfying 💛
I really hope this post inspires you mamas (or dads) to plan a little getaway, go on a fun day trip, or just have a spontaneous adventure this weekend- I promise, the memories will be worth the effort! 💕